Our Long National Squirrel Nightmare is Over

My walls are blessedly silent now. The exterminators came and set up a complicated system, with mesh nailed to the roof and cardboard things and a cage balanced precariously on what was left of the gutter. This is all my observation from below, as we do not have a ladder and I did not plan on going up there.

The first day, the squirrels managed to get the bait out of the cage without getting stuck. I did not know that this was even an option! Shouldn’t there have been a cage that was technologically advanced enough to outwit a rodent? When the tech came back the next day, he told me that was normal. I showed him my suspicious face.

I guess he was right, though, because a couple of hours later, while napping luxuriously, I woke to an ominous thumping outside. I leapt up in glee and ran outside with my camera and, oh frabjous day, THERE WAS A SQUIRREL IN THE TRAP. Ha ha, I crowed at it. Ha ha, you magnificent bastard, we’ve got you now. The squirrel glared down at me. I think. It was awfully bright outside.

When P came home, we went out to see the trap. He wanted proof, too. But by that time the weather had changed. It was cold and only minutes from rain. The squirrel stared down at us. We stared up at it. It wrapped its tail around itself and settled in for the night.

We felt like total monsters.

This happened twice more over the next few days. Overcome with guilt, I stopped checking the trap at all. Apparently the word got out to the other local squirrels, because there have been no more visitors and the walls are quiet.


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I did not expect to go from frabjous days to guilt and stuff. GAH. But I’m glad your walls are quiet and you don’t have to worry about the problem escalating.

And I’m sure it was glaring down at you. It might be smaller than you and furry and stuff, but it’s still a magnificent bastard, plotting its own Rube Goldberg device based on acorns and stolen attic insulation.

Kim, I didn’t expect it, either!

I like your Rube Goldberg theory. It’s helping.

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